Will you obey me?
“Jessica, can you obey me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Can you obey me?”
“John. No! Why should I?”
“Because it says so in the Bible?”
“Are you mad. Who told you that?”
“Robert. You know, Mary’s husband. The new couple we who invited us around last Sunday for lunch.”
“They go to Church. We don’t, and I won’t.”
“You won’t what? Go to Church? We are getting married in a Church?”
“No, I won’t obey you?”
“But you will go to Church?”
“So, you won’t obey me once we get married or go to Church?”
‘That’s not the sort of relationship we have. We are equals. We discuss things and work them out together. Like we always have. It works right?”
“John, we’ve got our flat and a car, we both work. We’re good. Right? And besides Church is boring.”
“Suppose so. But you want a Church wedding?”
“Of course. Doesn’t everyone?”
“The Vicar rang. He want’s our Bible verse for the reading by Saturday.”
“That’s the second time he called. I don’t know any Bible verses.”
“Me neither, so, I asked Robert.”
“Oh! What did he say?”
“What does it say?”
“Wives must obey their husbands.”
“What? I told you. We are not having that. I am not telling everyone I am obeying you. Freddy from work will imagine I am losing it? Rachael will have a fit. What was Robert thinking? That we are old people? No. We are having a modern wedding with new stuff.”
“He also said we should use the traditional vows, ‘love, cherish, and obey’.”
“I cannot believe he said that. Why would he? Why would any woman agree to obey her husband?”
“Robert said the man’s vow is much harder. That the husband must ‘worship’ his wife, and that is unbelievably tough to do. That it’s far harder than the wife saying, ” I will obey my husband”. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to worship someone?”
“Robert said that, ‘if a man worships his wife, then he could never ask her to do anything she would not want to do. In the same way that God loves us, He also would also never ask us to do something which would harm us in any way. It would be the very best for us, nothing else.’”
“I looked it up in Ephesians. It says: ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church’.”
“Jessica, did you know that Christ loved the Church so much that he gave his life for us.”
“So, what are you saying now? That you would sacrifice your life to save me?”
“Yes, I would.”
“You honestly would?”
The late Billy Graham, the great evangelist and teacher, stood up each time his wife entered the room. What a marvellous testimony Billy is to the way men should treat their wife.
Everything comes together as one. The man loves the woman; the woman loves the man; Christ loves both equally as one. Not individuals anymore, but dependant on each other, united as one.
The man worships the woman. He loves her, cherishes her, and adores her. She deserves his love. Cherished and adored, she is his woman, the woman God chose for him.
Jesus loves you. Jesus would never ask too much of you. He would not ask you to do anything which would bring shame to you. He would not ask you to sin. There is no sin in Jesus.
Similarly, you love your wife. You will never ask too much of her. You will not ask her to do anything which would bring shame upon her. You will not ask her to sin.
Shared responsibilities are washing dishes, ironing clothes, and cleaning the house. The wife often does more of these chores than the man, but for practical reasons. She is home more, especially when childbearing. This work is not what God is referring to when he says the ‘wife is to obey her husband’. God is stating that the man is the spiritual leader, a source of wisdom, a gift from God. The man lifts the name of Jesus high at home. He will not tolerate bad language. He ensures the family attends Church meetings or serving abroad. The man will raise his children Christlike. He will refer to the Bible for the final council. The Bible has all the answers and more. The Bible is full of advice for men, women and children of God alike. He will use it to the full.
Why not take a walk to your local Church next Sunday? Inside you will observe many more women than men. Divorced, married and single. Woman with children, but no man. Their man remains at home. Like many women, she is screaming out for her man to be the authoritative spiritual leader for her family, to be by her side. How many more similar women are at home, waiting for her man to be the man she thought she married?
Faith, Love and Hope
Faith is based on the past, Love based on the present, Hope based on future salvation.
Faith …. in Jesus, in God
Love …. Spoke and our Children
Hope ….. In the Lord Jesus’ Christ. In the Future, in our what Jesus’ Ministry might bring others, through us.
Everything comes together as one. It’s about faith, love and hope. Of these, the greatest of all is love.
Brave, bold, outstanding
’Wives must obey their husbands.’ Wow, what a statement. Can you imagine the front page of the Times newspaper reading, “Wives, obey your husbands.” Even a member of parliament, standing up and pronouncing, “Wives, obey your husbands.” An outpouring of rage would follow. A riot might ensue. But of course, they should be upstanding, but they aren’t. They are mice, not men of God.
The reason wives find it hard to say, “I will obey my husband” is because our values have become diluted, our promises weak, our commitment lacking. Society has eroded the enormous importance of marriage. ’Til death us do part’ is not true anymore. ’Til we can upgrade to a newer model’ is more truthful.
Society has eradicated commitment the wife has for the husband. Love replaced with ‘attraction’. “I love you very much” now reads, “let us buy a new car.”
For a wife to say, “I will obey my husband” she must trust her husband explicitly, wholeheartedly, and without fear. Husbands, can you be trusted? Have you earned that amount of trust? Have you done enough to be upheld as a trustworthy husband?
And Wives, are you worship-able? Are you upstanding enough to for a man to want to worship you? Wives, you need to be someone your husband is not, something he finds hard to be? Are you his compliment or opponent? What is the compliment of a husband who is strong and practical? Compassionate, a softer approach? She is his compliment, not opposite. He is her compliment. You are better together when you become one. Together you create a synergy not more of the same.
Stop right here
The realisation of your commitment to your partner may be too much for you.
If you do not believe you will worship your bride for the rest of her life, you might want to put this writing down.
If you do not think you can obey your future husband, you too may not want to continue with this work.
The bond of marriage is exceptional. The bond needs to be strong to keep you together for the next sixty years. If you are in your mid-twenties, sixty more years is your life expectancy. You both need to face this commitment now.
Instructions for Christian Households
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
The groom promises to “love, cherish, and worship”, and the bride to “love, cherish, and obey.”